MY LIFE IS A FAMILY GUY NON-SEQUITUR GAG

Some fun facts about me and the famous people I have interacted with:

- I once had a phone interview with Rob Van Dam, during which he tried to convince me to draw his entire comic book idea “for exposure”. I turned that job down.

- I accidentally got a small speaking role in a movie with Aidan Quinn in it. That's why my Bacon Number is 2.

- I nearly died one time when I was driving in Hyannis MA and cut off Arnold Schwartzenegger’s Humvee.

- I had Cloris Leachman’s personal phone number. She was flirting with me after I told her about The Hiram Key.

- One of my earliest memories is going fishing with the piano player from The Doobie Brothers.

- I once got a member of the Goo Goo Dolls to help me play a prank on my roommate.

- Wendy Malick played a prank on me after hearing I had a crush on her from when she was in “Dream On”.

- One time I heard LeVar Burton say the word “fuck”, twice.

This is not a comprehensive list.

Probably the one moment that sticks out the most in my mind is when I was trying to explain to Robby Takac about schizoaffective disorder and how it sometimes makes fantasy and reality hard to separate... and then realized I was having this conversation while riding around in a golf cart with a famous rock star.

So yeah, I'm aware that sometimes when I tell stories about my life, it sounds like a non-sequitur joke from Family Guy. That's why I try to limit the pool of stories I draw from to just the ones that can be confirmed by people I know.